There is nothing worse for a gamer than being done with a game and having nothing to fall back on.  With Mass Effect 3 finished until DLC comes out, nothing planed in SWTOR, and no new games out I can buy just to have something new, I decided to play every game I haven’t finished in my collection for as long as I could stand it.  Once I couldn’t stand the game anymore I’d record my “accomplishments.”  No good will come of this.

Because this concept isn't creepy at all

SNEAK KING:  I don’t even know when this game came out, but you could get it from Burger King with your fast food.  The plot is simple, sneak around and give people lunch.  Sounds funny at least.  Also a proof of concept for “Pedobear’s revenge.”
-Cost: $1.99
-Accomplishments:  I got the game started up, completed 1 mission at a “Rank C.”
-Achievements: 15pts
-Why I quit playing:  The camera controls are all on the right thumb stick and mapped where up is up, down is down, right is right, and left is  left.  Which I couldn’t figure out.  I like my camera controls to be inverted, and there is no option to do so.  Most of the game I spent looking down at the ground and frustrated.
-Time Played:  15mins
-Price per game play: $0.13 per min

Sokka must die

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER – THE BURNING EARTH:  This game came free in a pile of games.  Buy 1 get 2 free.  I had heard it was the easiest 1000 X-Box live points you could ever earn. It also has the longest name ever. A:TLA-TBE.  Typical beat em up game otherwise.
-Cost: Free
-Accomplishments:  I found out that I could take control of Sokka and have him jump to his death.
-Achievements: 700pts
-Why I quit playing: After the 3rd Sokka suicide I lost interest.
-Time Played: 25 mins
-Price per game play: $0.00 per min

This game is for women, and pedophiles

LOST ODYSSEY-  A very popular and well reviewed JRPG.  It is nothing special, turned base fights, great graphics, huge FMV cut scenes and amazing music.  Your typical JRPG.  This was one the wife picked up and beat.  I never bothered to play it but from what I saw and was told, it was impressive.
-Cost: $60
-Accomplishments:  Killed a huge robot thing, watched a long FMV
-Achievements: 0pts
-Why I quit playing:  from the time the game started, I watched 6 mins and 32 seconds of FMV, or loading screen.  By the time I got control of my character I was bored.
-Time played: 15 mins
-Price per Game play: $4.00 per min

If Lost Odyssy was for women and Petophiles, Prototype is for 14 year old boys who play rouges or are Homophobes. Or both.

PROTOTYPE : Open word game where you can run around a city and kill as many people as you feel like killing.  I had played this game before, liked it but never finished it.  Sadly my save had been nuked as I figured I’d never come back to finishes this game again.
-Cost: $60
-Accomplishments: Finished the intro. Slaughtered more people in this game then the rest combined. Heard the F word used in a sentence.
-Achievements: 0pts
-Why I quit playing:  I had already unlocked all the powers, it took way to long the first time. Knowing I’d have to do it all again, I quit when my powers were stripped.  And I sated my blood lust.
-Time played: 10 mins
-Price per game play: $6.00 per min

Very good, still overrated

BIOSHOCK:  Game of the year 2007, FPS with a cool game play element that lets you use superpowers.  Amazing story, cool environments.  A game I’ve never finished because it gets boring.
-Cost: $60
-Accomplishments: I made it into rapture, got a gun, shot some people, was threatened by Andrew Ryan.
-Achievements: 0pts
-Why I quit playing: I’ve played this game so many time, and now I’m starting to notice things I dislike about the game play.  The guns don’t act like guns, they feel huge and cartoon like.  The powers are cool but at first you can only use them a few times before you are totally out of ammo.  The games amazing environments end up being very hard to look at after about 20 mins of playing.
-Time played: 60 mins
-Price per game play: $1.00 per min

There has been a small amount of controversy around the ending of Mass Effect 3, but I’m here to say that Bioware has created a masterpiece.   As I finished the blue ending first I watched in shock waiting for something…anything to happen.  When I didn’t feel like that it payed off I went back and did red, and green with the same reaction.  At first I tried to make excuses for the ending, telling myself it was great.  Realizing that I was fooling myself I got mad, then depressed.  Parts of the end of the game made no sense, it left me with questions, so I started to think and read and I have changed my mind.  Mass Effect 3′s ending is brilliant.  If you don’t like the ending of ME3, stick with me on this.  The story is actually about the indoctrination of Commander Shepard.

Get ready folks

Mass Effect 3 has three basic endings.  They all follow a similar path.  You, your team, and David Anderson charge a reaper to take a beam up to the citadel, Harbinger and others land to stop you.  As you are running you appear to get hit with the main laser from a reaper and pass out.  You wake up with your armor burnt off, you hear someone say no one made it to the beam.  With your last bit of strength you fight off three husks, get shot by the hardest marauder in the arm, blow his head off and walk into the beam of light.  On the citadel you are contacted right away by David Anderson, who has also made it.  He says he is in a different room similar to your room.  You start walking forward threw countless dead people, across a bridge, and into a central room.  Anderson radio’s you to tell you he is walking threw the same things, but he beats you to the center room and tries to access a console before his radio cuts out.

As you enter the room both you and Anderson lose control of your bodies, and the Illusive man shows up.  He can control you now, and you try and convince him he is indoctrinated.  He either shoots himself (Paragon) , you shoot him (Renegade), He shoots Anderson and then you shoot him (Renegade if you skip a Ren choice) or he shoots everyone (if you choose not to hit any Renegade choices).  No matter what you pick here, Anderson dies anyway, and you are lifted up into the Crucible to face your final choice.

You are greeted by a child, who looks a lot like the child you found in a vent back on earth, and you keep dreaming about.  The child says he is the the citadel/catalyst and he created the reapers to end chaos, however because of the Crucible we now have more choices. A blue ramp lets you control the reapers, like the Illusive Man wanted too;  A red ramp will let you destroy all synthetic life, including the Geth; and a green path, which will rewrite DNA and make everyone part synthetic and part organic.

If you pick Red, the reapers are killed, the Mass relays are destroyed, and you see Joker try and outrun the red laser fired into the Mass relays.  He crashes and out pops out Joker and the two members of your squad who came with you on your charge.  Then you see Shepard in stone ruins, he takes a breath.  Finally a touching scene where a man named Stargazer tells a child that “The Shepard” is a legend, and he can tell one more story.

This is the face of evil

So how does that lead anyone to think that the ending wasn’t all that it seems.  Lets examine this.

• The Child is actually an illusion created by the reapers

When you first meet the Child, he is in a vent.  You ask him to join you and he oddly states “You can’t help me”.  Then the child disappears completely, and you don’t see him again till he jumps into a shuttle which takes off and gets blown up.  As he gets into the shuttle, no one seems to notice him.  He then starts showing up in Shepard’s dreams to signify the lost and despair.  Finally, the child shows up and claims to be the Catalyst and creator of the reapers.  He tries to convince you that he is doing the right thing and if you spare the reapers in the Blue or Green endings, their will be peace.

The Child is the first sign of Shepard being indoctrinated.  No one ever sees this kid, and he represents guilt and loss.  He helps build Shepard’s want for peace, to lose no one else.  When you meet the real child, the Catalyst, you view him with awe.  And despite having been told all game that the reapers must die, and we can’t control them, the child offers peace in 2 ways.  The blue makes us think its a paragon choice when in fact, this just shows how distorted Shepard has become.

• Shepard’s conversation with the Illusive Man and David Anderson is in his own mind

You get shot by a laser, your armor is burned off, and you hear someone say no one made it to the beam.  This is all real, but once you step into the beam, you find out David Anderson is on the Citadel.  He says he is in a different room, but when you meet him again in the center chamber, there is only one way in, and you just used it.  If everyone was killed on the way to the beam how is Anderson there?

At this point you are talking to a fake Anderson who is your mind fighting against indoctrination.  The indoctrination is Illusive man.  The whole conversation is the reapers making one final attempt to take your mind and made you give up.  It also helps twist you up as a player, by the time you make it to the final choice, you are totally taken.  This is why the choices are backwards.  It is also why to live you MUST either get a man to kill him self, or pick 2 of the last 3 renegade options in the ending.

• The Joker Paradox

This isn’t really an explanation, but is does cast some doubt on the ending being all it seems.  The final part of the ending shows Joker running from the blast shot threw the mass relay.  He is trying to out run it fails and crashes.  Why is Joker running?  What is he running from?  Why did he take a jump gate?  When he crashes out comes the 2 squad mates you took with you to London.  So everyone died, but your squad and David Anderson lived threw the charge?  Your squad must have gotten in a shuttle, rejoined the Normandy, deserted the fleet before the battle was over and taken at lease one mass relay, all before you finished your conversation with Anderson and the Illusive man and before you fired the Crucible.

This all is odd.  Joker isn’t a coward, your squad wouldn’t run.  Also didn’t they die?  So assuming they did live, why did he run.  He couldn’t make it to the relay before the Crucible was activated, its just to far.

and people said Bioware was lazy

You don’t have to buy this theory, but it was left open like this for a reason.  I’d bet its more likely left open for people to question the theorizes about then to actually provide an explanation as to what really happened.  Mass Effect has finally become what it has tried to be since day one, Blade Runner.

Top 3 RPG’s of all time Skyrim, Mass Effect, Chrono Trigger.  Now before anyone asks “What gives? You made a video back in 2008 where you said the top 3 were KOTOR, Mass Effect, and Final Fantasy 7″ understand that the original top ten was voted on by the 5 original members of Beyond8bit before it morphed into what it is today.  Of the 5 only 2 still work with the site, and 1 of the 2 to busy getting a degree, playing crappy MMORPGS to write blogs about, not playing SWTOR, being named Sexton Hardcastle, and bangin co-eds, to be as active with the site and its running as I’m sure he would like.   This makes the original list somewhat outdated and not 100% representative of my personal opinion.  The point however is I fracking love Mass Effect.  This game literately has 1000′s of choices that could effect the outcome of all 3 games!  My love for Mass Effect is so strong that I will avoid the topic if I am not wearing a boxer briefs and jeans.  If I’m wearing mess shorts I’ll change the subject to Final Fantasy 13 so I don’t embarrass anyone.  My Shepard (Tyrone Shepard) has made some interesting choices in the name of saving us all from the reapers.  Here is what I’m hoping to see happen.

There are many like him, but this one is mine.

• My Shepard is a Sole Survivor

It is one of the very first choices you make in ME 1 and I feel like it will actually be huge in ME3.  The ME3 Demo talks about how the losses of some of his squad mates has started to effect Shepard.  Well if you pick Sole Survivor in ME1 you already “…survived while all those around you fell” before ME1.  Since that Tyrone has lost Ashley and Tali (who he had developed feelings for, more on that later).  Start having everyone on Earth die, and Shepard is headed for a real physiological break.  Everyone around him, everyone he cares for dies.  If I have to make the choice between saving people I don’t know in large numbers or Liara, my Shepard has always been greater good first.  Poor Tyrone Shepard will be going on a rampage.

Chances: 6/10

Did you watch Regis this morning?

• My Shepard is a Colonist

Born off world, Tyrone has only one tie to Earth, the military.  Since the first game Shepard has picked the good of the entire galaxy over the goods of Earth.  Now he is asked to go round up as many allies as he can to help save earth.  This goes one of two ways.  Either everyone remembers how Shepard and humanity has given up so much to save them time and time again, or all of Earth paints Shepard as a coward as he gallivants around the stars with aliens while humans die at home.  Not Shepard’s home mind you, he was born off world.  By the time Shepard makes it home, he could be seen as a traitor bringing an army of occupying aliens.  After Earth fights so hard to save it self from reapers, they turn on Shepard.  The Illusive man would clearly be a key player i this, which is bad for me because…..

Chances:  4/10

Winning

• My Shepard told Cerberus to pound sand

“Cerberus is a human-survivalist paramilitary group led by the enigmatic Illusive Man.”  I’ve sent the human fleet in to get its ass kicked to save the Destiny Ascension, I’ve destroyed a reaper that could have let humans protect themselves against the Reapers because it would be in Cerberus’ hands, I ran off with the Normandy, oh and I’ve told the Illusive Man off every chance I got.  We already know they are after Shepard no matter what you do, but I have a bad feeling the choices I have made are going to make it very easy for the Illusive man to take over Earth governments with popular opinion as he paints Shepard as an alien lover.

Chances: 8/10

And if this is wrong...actually it was kinda wrong.

• My Shepard let the Rachni Queen go

Before I get into this, you ever notice how much the Rachni Queen look like the Reapers?  Both of them have a hive mind, communicate telepathically, scared the hell out of the universe.

In ME1 I had the choice to exterminate the last Rachni Queen, who was the only chance to bring back a homicidal warrior race that nearly destroyed everything, or take her word for it that she had changed.  Clearly she wasn’t telling me anything I wanted to hear, she was trapped in a cage that had a button to kill her with fire instantly.  She would have no reason or motivation to lie.  Plus if I ever needed a race of homicidal warriors to have my back, they would owe me.  Well now is that time, I need a race of homicidal warrior so Rachni Queen, I’m coming to collect!

Chances: 1/10

This will not go well

• My Shepard has a complicated love life

Most people I know dated Ashley in the first game and then Miranda so they will have to reconcile that in ME3.  I tried to take this a step farther.  In ME1 Tyrone kept his options open.  I romanced Ashley and Liara for a while till I decited that short hair/tenticals hot enough for me to look past the whole “asexual” thing and sent Ashley to die on Virmire while I got to see how Asari, I can’t think of any funny innuendo for sex here.  Liara rode the beef pony.  Whatever.  In ME2 Liara had moved on so I did what seemed natural, I wooed Miranda, Jack, and Tali at the same time.  When it came time to choose I told Miranda I wasn’t into her like that, Jack just tells me to fuck off, and Tali and I choose to wait till after the mission, and promptly sent Tali to die.  When Shadow Broker came out I clearly re kindled things with Liara.  With any luck ME3 will be them all finding out about this.  Liara finds out about Tali from letters she wrote home, Miranda eludes to what we almost had to hurt the squad, Jack refuses to help me because I got her to open up but didn’t want her like that, and the memory of Ashley’s death makes Liara think I am only with her because she was left alive.

Chances: 0/10

I’m sure there are others, but that is what comes to mind.  If you have any choices you can’t wait to see play out, comment.  Or just go back to skimming blogs and hoping someone puts a cat video on Facebook.

Eff you this is hard!

Starcraft really did it.  I have better things to do than write blogs.  You have better things to do then read blogs.  Its not like there is anything I wanna talk about so I’ll make sure to waste your time with what I think about Mass Effect 3 even if it isn’t out yet.  Things I expect to see, things I think will be good, things I expect to be bad, things I expect.  So here we go…I guess.

And here we go

Anyone who follows me on Twitter, or is part of the 8 Bit Radio Facebook group, knows I am not too happy about the concept of giving players an option to have all the conversation choices made fore you.  I got lambasted for being a “hater”, was told that I dislike everything, and that its not a big deal.  Its normal now, that if you say something people don’t agree with you get called a hater, so that didn’t upset me, but the concept of it not being a big deal got under my skin.  Oh eff it, Law and Order SVU is on and it got me distracted.

This picture has everything to do with this blog.

Have you ever gotten so obsessed with Netflix that you will watch anything at all.  I’ve plowed threw shows I hate for no other reason then it is on and I can watch it right away.  All this TV watching has made me understand a very simple truth.  In the 90′s people were adults that like a good story that made you think and had twists and turns.  Law and Order is a great example.  You would spend 30 mins with the cops, then 30 mins with the lawyers, and the show was about soliving the crime.  Then we have Law and Order: SVU, where by the end of the episode the bad guy tells everyone everything and sometimes the bad guy is really just trying to help people and we shouldn’t charge him with a crime.  90′s the story was important, 00′s the solution is given to you with out any mental lifting on your part.

You killed the man who raped your sister? I'll made you a deal, Man one and we will seek the death penalty.

Over 25, this doesn’t apply to you, under 25 stop being a little entitled prick.  You guys want everything given to you, you want it now, and you don’t wanna work for it.  Seriously, you ruined Law and Order and you ruined WoW and now you are going to ruin SWTOR and Mass Effect 3.  You can’t be bothered to pick 1-3 choices, you just want to be given the answer so you can skip the cut scenes and shoot people in the face?  Maybe you should buy a pair of jeans that fits, seriously it would help.

These guys love Law and Order: CI, CSI, and NCIS

RPG’s need to be RPG’s.  By giving people the option to change the type of game they are playing is like letting someone watch Gladiator, but choose to skip the plot and just watch more tiger fights.  Oh and on SVU they just said violent masturbation.  So does anyone agree.  Nope.  No one things I’m right, most of them will just keep playing game and loving them and then next thing we know its Fire Temple, Water Temple, Rock Temple, run at the ledge for an auto-jump, and Zelda hasn’t been good since SNES.  I blame Gemma.

Without you John, Jack, and Clay would be happy!

Ok, and some woman committed suicide in front of the press.  Way to make it all about yourself.

Edit: My loving wonderful and over 25 year old wife pointed out that you can’t get the death penalty for Manslaughter in the 1st degree.  I’d like to point out that while you can’t, Jack McCoy can.

Good News everyone!  StarCraft has spent the last week re doing our website.  While most of his changes are behind the scenes (getting the page to run faster, giving us new tags, changing the plugins we use the whole site has a fresh coat of paint.  For some strange reason he has has seen fit to give us all blogs.  We tried this a few months back and it didn’t work.  I don’t expect it to work this time either, but hey, I can’t spell and won’t care enough to proof read this so lets give it a go!

This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this

Today is Presidents day, and on days like this I realize how stupid most of the world is.  In an effort to make my work more interesting I asked anyone who would listen, “In no particular order who the top 3 Presidents all time.”  Over and over I kept hearing “Clinton”.  Not wanting to upset anyone I would ask them to explain.  The conversation would go something like this.

seriously, this was my day

I’m not trying to tell anyone they are stupid but holy shit?!  Just quickly, does anything Clinton did equal the following?

• Freedom for the Slaves
• Ended the depression
• Made the Louisiana Purchase
• Built the Highway System
• Peacefully ended the Cuban Missile Crisis
• Founded the Nation

No one could honestly think that anything he did stacks up to that list, and its not to say he is a bad guy, but he wasn’t epic (yes I wrote these things in purple to make my point)!  The only think I can think of is the people I asked had honestly never heard of Abraham Lincoln, FDR, Thomas Jefferson, IKE, JFK, or GEORGE MUTHERFUCKING WASHINGTON!

...but soon they will know him.

If you have kids, ask them today to tell you who the top 3 presidents are.  If Abe Lincoln isn’t on it, toss them off a cliff.  Anyway I’m bored, I’m gonna set up a chair on my porch and yell at kids who walk by my house.

-Fodder

Just a filler for now