It has been 2 weeks since we have recorded. Videogame news has been backed up so much that is getting uncomfortable to sit. We do the only right thing and hit the news feed like fiber to your colon. It starts out angry and painful but becomes a nice smooth show in the end. Enjoy.
Geoff, Ryan, and Tim talk about the new South Park video game, Thief, TitanFall, and more. Then we talk Guardians of the Galaxy.
Video games? We get there eventually, but first we talk about Valentines, being to old to date your teachers, trying to drive a sports car through mud, and Knights of Badassdom. Metal Gear’s length, and Amazon buying Double Helix round out what is hopefully our last show in Undisclosed Location studio in Poolesville MD
For those not in the know…
Flappy Bird is a new game out on iOS and Android. The premise is simple… You tap the screen to make your little bird fly, all the while dodging pipes and trying to beat your high score. My current high score is five. The boyfriend’s, for comparison? It’s six.
It’s one of those games that, at its core, makes you consistently go, “one more time!” over and over, which of course makes that one more time turn into twenty more times. It is this very premise, much like Angry Birds, that is, in my earnest humble opinion, killing gaming. It isn’t a game with a story, levels, any sort of plot or anything- I mean come on guys! At least Angry Birds had a plot! This is just… You download the app, open it up and the only thing it does is tell you to tap the screen and it sends you on your merry way to kill thousands of tiny differently colored birds against Mario type pipes.
While I’m sure plenty of people will think it’s harmless fun… Is it really? Sure, it’s a perfect time waster. Something that you don’t need to save and can just pick back up again whenever- but then, so is Picross.
In Flappy Bird’s defense however, I do have to give the creators props for not offering any sort of micro transactions, instead opting to keep their small little mobile game free- completely free. Not just completely free, but free ninety-nine.
But these small mobile games are what is truly detracting from the gaming industry. Instead of focusing on story, plot, innovation or anything that will make it stand out… The very LACK of these things is what makes it popular. Is there where modern day games are headed? To a plethora of games that offer no real story telling or depth? To ones where all you have to do is press X to have an action done for you, or to simply tap the screen of the device several times then die when you get excited and tap too many times?
If it is, count me out.
Edit: Boyfriend’s high score is now seven. He wanted me to give him credit for that. So… Props, I guess?
This time Tim braves the frozen wasteland to join the show. We talk about the flurry of rumors surrounding all 3 systems, then we discus who we would love to see Nintendo license characters too. We finish up with a review of Broken Age part one. If I say spoiler, get ready for one, skip ahead 90 seconds.
Free to play games has become something of a mainstream stay in the video gaming industry. When, years ago, it used to be met with scorn and would often show how shitty a game was, now it’s met with open arms by those same gamers who now suddenly claim they would NEVER pay a subscription fee for a MMO- ignoring the fact servers and support team paychecks are costly.
Gamers figure they can take advantage of this system and play to their hearts content without spending a dime.
This is BEYOND false, it’s the very thing that LURES these gamers in with free play 24/7, with the ability to hit max level… But oh wait. Did a chest just drop off a monster and you wish to open it?
That’ll be 99 cents. Or 1.99. Or 2.99, for a key. A one time use item that will enable them to open this mysterious “phat lewt” (or as my sister affectionately calls it “shinies”) and to see what is inside. But alas! The super ultra rare mount DID NOT DROP! You got an uncommon item- better luck next time, right?
When the change of getting something so insanely rare is sitting there in front of a person’s face, they of course, will go to great lengths to obtain that rare item- whether it’s farming Stratholme in World of Warcraft 100 times a day in order to get the mount that has a 1% chance to drop, to spending money to open chests.
“But Milly!”, you cry, “These chests are optional! They don’t have to open them!!” to which I look down and whisper, “No.”
For some of those few, the proud, the dedicated players? This is not optional. This is part of the game. This is what they play for- they play to collect everything, they play to become THE BEST (Number One in the world, etc, etc). Even if they have to buy hundreds of these fabled keys in order to actually open this chest… They. Will. Do. It.
“But Milly!”, you cry, “Where is your evidence?!”
Why pay to play, when you can pay for WHAT you want WHEN you want it? Why should I put down $15 every month for World of Warcraft, when I can play Guild Wars and simply purchase things at my leisure? This is where the Free to Play moniker misleads players, thinking they’re not spending that much… When in earnest? The revenue reveals all.
Have you ever had a moment where you were faced with the option to either push on with what you know is good or do the “smart thing” which is really just what everyone else thinks you should do because it is best for them. Nintendo is their now.
With the announcement of the Wii U’s poor sales, and a massive stock drop, the rest of the gaming world is calling for Nintendo to do the “smart thing” and quit making hardware and start making games for Xbox One and PS4 (because we already own them). While I’m sure this would make Nintendo a lot of money, lets pretend for a second that Nintendo isn’t a company tasked with making money and is instead a stubborn son of a bitch who knows better then everyone else and will continue to fight till the company goes under. In other words lets pretend I run Nintendo.
Step one to recovery is admitting you have a problem, just not the problem everyone is telling you you have. Wii U is mostly dead, but we all know there is a big difference between MOSTLY dead, and ALL dead.
People who aren’t buying the Wii U claim to be stopped by cost and lack of support. 3rd party companies say they won’t support the system because of its lack of sales and Nintendo’s reputation for having horrible system support. So step one in the Wii U revival plan is to reach out to the 3rd party developers, especially indies. The details around this are boring but offering them the support they ask for will keep them willing to work with the system.
Sales is the much more fun issue to fix. Effective immediate, $50 price drop and every system comes bundled with Mario World 3D. Right away this gets systems moving because finally they will be priced at their actual value. If you think the system is under powered, well now its priced like a current gen system. Not sure if you will use it? Boom here is a game you can play with everyone that comes over and was rated over a 90. On a side note, when your friends come over, and play your Wii U they think “Hey, this wasn’t so bad” and start thinking about spending $249.99 too. Once the momentum from this price cut start rolling, Nintendo starts doing throwing its weight around.
E3 2014, You’re body will not be ready. Mario Kart; gameplay and date. Smash Brothers; gameplay and date. Oh and if you own both games Nintendo will be releasing characters from each game on the others, for free if you own both games, but you can buy them as well if you like. And just as everyone is thinking “Oh ho hum, its not that great” this shit hits the screen.
And right as you are done cleaning up the front of your pants and trying to figure out if that smell if because you shit yourself.
The show ends and you realize Nintendo just gave you Smash, Kart, Zelda, and StarFox in HD in 1 year for $249.99. This system is pretty fucking saved. Oh yeah, Also I start development on Nintendo HD for 2018-19, and make sure that bastard is a $399 graphical powerhouse with online features.
All the equipment is stuck in Poolesville, No one is willing to drive out because of the Ferry being closed, but Geoff shows up anyway and we set up in the old studio and talk about how he has become a radio mercenary, breaking beds, the WWE network, how much it sucks to have to save money, and what we would do to save the Wii U.
Tim, Geoff, and Ryan have been walking around for 2 weeks knocking on the doors of inns looking for a place to record. Finally, we are home. Tim tells his 3DS story, Ryan explains why he should never drink, and Geoff fears for his life. Also video games.
Assassin’s Creed 4 reviews, PS4 reviews form Jon and Tim, we see how amazing the PSVita is, and discuss if failure rate is .4 is a big deal.